Concerning Life as It Is Supposed to Be

Category: Life Page 5 of 6

Chess Clocks and Coffee

Before breakfast Monday morning, I drank three cups of coffee in honor of my daughter. In fact, every cup of coffee I drink is in her honor. That, though, is a story for another day.

The connection between my daughter and coffee centers around the bi-weekly games of chess we play at local coffee shops, a tradition at least five years old.

This Monday afternoon we took our game to a new level of fun-ness.

My daughter, brilliant girl that she is, has a clever strategy. She takes so much time between moves that if I ever have a coherent plan, it is, by the time my next move comes around, long forgotten. So, just before Christmas I decided that ‘we’ needed the discipline of the chess clock.

A chess clock consists of two timers connected by a switch that switches one off when the other is switched on. Thus, when black, for example, is contemplating his move, his timer is counting down. At the end of his move, he pushes a button which stops his timer and starts white’s timer. A player can take all the time he needs for any particular move, but if his time runs out before the end of the game, he loses.

When I last used a chess clock, the Beatles were still a band, Richard Nixon was still an honest president, and Americans were still dying in Vietnam. I had, no surprise, forgotten how the thing was supposed to work.

My daughter gave me an Amazon.com gift certificate for Christmas. I transformed this into a chess clock, and we were therefore armed and ready to go.

Monday was the first opportunity to use it. It used to be, my imagination tells me, that people would go home from a coffee shop and tell their families that they saw this strange sight: an old white guy and a young black girl playing chess. Now they will go home shaking their heads and reporting a yet stranger sight: an old white guy and a young black girl playing chess using a chess clock.

For our first game, we set the timer for 25 minutes. That is, each of us would have 25 minutes to make all our moves. Such a game would, you see, last no longer than 50 minutes. Ours probably lasted forty or forty-five. But the thing is, we finished it. With time to spare. We actually finished a game. A miracle.

With some of the consequent ‘time to spare’, we decided to try our hands at a ‘blitz’ game. This is the chess one sees being playing in Washington Park in the highly recommended movie Searching for Bobby Fischer.

In Bobby Fisher players play whole games in under two minutes – it is a sight to see. (See the YouTube clip below.)

We were more modest in our goals. We set the timer for five minutes each.

Oh, was that fun. Hectic, intense, sloppy, but fun.

The ranks of ‘grandmaster-dom’ are not threatened by our play. But I have this hope that many years from now, when my little girl is a mature woman of fifty and I am, presumably, long gone, that she will remember the day she and her dad broke out the chess clock for our bi-weekly game.

Brrr?

Cold is relative. The talk around Bradenton is how cold it is. I mean, we are actually having to wear coats. I might even need to break down and buy a pair of shoes! But our definition of cold starts around 59 degrees and down. So when someone from Bradenton complains of the cold, it should be taken with a grain of salt.

However, I enjoyed this brief e-mail interchange among several of my widely dispersed children yesterday. It started with me sending them all a note:

It’s 700 am

34 degrees in back yard

frost on the cars

Brrr.

Several hours later, my son from Cleveland, Ohio responded:

2pm 24 degrees, snow everywhere.

Brrr

To which, my daughter-in-law who lives just north of Miami chimed in:

4:20pm Aventura fl.

60 degrees.

Brrr?

ADD and the Pointless Christmas Tree

I sat across the desk – the monstrous, authoritative, imposing desk – from the doctor who had just run a battery of does-he-have-ADD tests on my then 15 year-old son. “Yes, your son shows classic symptoms of ADD,” he said to my wife and I, and then he looked me in the eye, and asked, “Mr. Greenwald, were you ever diagnosed with having ADD?”

The answer is technically ‘no’. These days when I do happen to admit to being ‘borderline ADD’ my wife sweetly can be heard saying, “Borderline?”

I’ve coped all these years with whatever peculiar ways of processing I possess and so a diagnosis, formal or informal, doesn’t really mean much. I’ve never really felt impelled to delve deeply into how this might effect the way I function.

But then there was the incident of the Christmas tree.

A week or so ago, I walked into a large tent at a local Lowes with the intention of buying a tree to bring home for the family to decorate. I was able to navigate to the stack of trees labeled ‘7-8 feet’ without any problem. But then the problems started.

There were probably fifty trees to choose from. Then there were, it seemed 100. Then 1000. How could I choose the one perfect tree from that pile of 83,000 trees? The prospect of making a choice seemed so daunting and mentally overwhelming that I couldn’t handle it. I had to get out of that tent, which I did clutching the first tree I laid eyes on.

I can’t say that was ADD. I don’t know what it was. All I know is that the prospect of making a distinction among so many subtly different objects overwhelmed my poor little brain.

We ended up with a pointless tree. That is, there was no ‘point’ at the top on which to mount our tree-topping ornament. This was easily fixed with a piece of gray PVC pipe and a couple zip-strips. You can’t tell that our tree, like this post, lacks a point.

So, I’m satisfied. But next year Barb, not I, enters the evil tent.

Honey, Why Is that Man Standing in His Driveway in His Pajamas?

As our 18 year old daughter was leaving Sunday evening to go watch a movie with friends, she said, “Did you know there is a shower tonight?” Since our middle daughter was at that time attending a baby shower, we were a bit puzzled by what daughter number three was saying, but finally she clarified. She said that after the movie, she and her friends were going to go outside to watch the meteor shower.

That was Sunday evening.

Early Monday morning, about 2:00 AM (November 16) I awoke restlessly and could not go back to sleep. When this happens, I see no sense in staying in bed. I get up and do stuff, and eventually I fall back asleep.

As I lay there, I remembered what my daughter had said about the meteor shower, and so I got up and stumbled out to the driveway and looked skyward. And looked. And looked.

There I was, in my pajamas, looking at a clear, beautiful, starlit night, at 3:00 in the morning.

Nothing. No shooting stars. No falling stars. No movie stars. No nothing.

“That meteor shower was over-hyped,” I thought, and I went back inside.

Tonight at dinner, we were talking and my daughter piped up, “Ha! We had the wrong night on the meteor shower! It’s not until tonight!”

Funny.

I’ll probably get up tonight, too. I’m on a mission now.

When Lying Is Acceptable

Life Is Good…


…when Trix is ‘buy one get one free’ at the grocery store.

That makes Colin very happy.

Just Colin.

Yep.

Silly Rabbit.

The Locus of Halloween Evil

I have found the locus of Halloween Evil.

It is not

* in the little demons who parade up and down our street looking for handouts

* in the horrendously grotesque jack-o-lanterns (this one carved by our in-need-of-therapy friend Bill Kimrey)


* in the proliferation of horror flicks centered around this day.

I have discovered it as I dumped bag after bag of candy in a bowl just now in preparation for tonight’s onslaught – and carefully removed and set aside all the varieties that I wanted to hoard myself and not give to the urchins unless I’m forced to do so.

I have, you see, found the locus of Halloween evil in the place I know it resided all along.

Pavlov and Me

Some find comfort in smoking. Some in alcohol. I find it in foods.

Every morning I have my devotional time sitting on a couch in our living room. Next to me is a table on which, each morning, a cup of coffee sits, and is frequently refilled.

As the morning goes on, I’m likely to pick up my computer to respond to some quick email, and to see what the world is up to on Facebook. All the time, the cup of coffee is there.

So, this evening, as I was doing some cleaning in the kitchen, I looked at the coffee pot, and determined that I did not need to make a cup.

But then, I sat in my spot on the couch. I grabbed to computer to finish off some blog posts. The table next to me was empty, and for the past half hour I’ve been craving the cup of coffee I previously ruled out.

All by the power of place and habit. There is probably a spiritual application of all of this, but without my coffee, I can’t capture it right now.



Which reminds me – my absolute favorite mug was handmade by Nigel Rudolph.

Nigel and Cheyenne Rudolph are gifted potters who make wonderfully attractive mugs (one is pictured) and other things. They apply a glaze on them that is hard to describe, but it makes the mug feel unique in one’s hands.

Their creations make wonderful Christmas presents. If you live in the Bradenton area, watch their site (or subscribe to their blog) for news about their upcoming sale. It is a rare pleasure to drink coffee or tea in a handmade work of fine art.

The Garage Sale

“Who invented the garage sale?”

Not the most earth shattering question to ponder, but it was what was on my mind as I sat lazily this morning behind our particular pile of stuff set out to tempt that curious creature known as the Garage Sale Shopper.

To me the most quality item we had for sale was a 5-disc CD player. (It was in great shape. We just never use it. All our CDs were long ago copied to the computers, and the occasional CD we play can be played on our DVD player.)

The item which drew the most attention was the six-foot tall stuffed giraffe. Everyone wanted to touch it. One mom put her little girl on its back. (“If it collapses, it’s yours,” I thought to myself.)

The things least likely to sell were the first to go. A set of antlers (no head; just antlers) which used to hang on the wall of my wife’s grandmother’s garage went for a dollar, as did a machete brought back from Jamaica by my then fifteen year old son.

“What are you going to DO with these things?” I wondered. I fantasized the murder weapon of some grisly murder being traced to me. I watch, you see, too many movies.

The giraffe was bought by a woman who runs a business which has ‘wild’ as it’s theme. She was quite happy with it, and I was happy to see it carted off down the street. It will make her a nice pet. It doesn’t eat much.

I was loading the unsold items into the trunk of the car to take them to Goodwill. The idea of a garage sale being to empty one’s living space, few items once designated Garage Sale Worthy ever make it back to the closet or shelf from which they were extracted. As I was doing this, a man came up and looked at my CD player. I had removed the price tag and was about to take it to the trunk. I had been asking $20. “Five dollars,” I told him. He took it. I was seconds from getting nothing for it.

When the dust settled, we had another $120 or so stashed away to buy that flat panel TV (we REALLY need it, you know).

I was surprised by the line of cars at Goodwill, and so I commented about it to the nice lady who was helping me unload my donation. She said, “It’s everybody bringing the stuff that don’t sell at garage sales.”

“Really?” I responded in my most shocked and surprised sounding voice.

I don’t think she bought it.

The Final Leg

This has been a silent blog for some days now. The open window which would allow me to squirrel myself away with my computer has not appeared long enough for me to put down more than a few thoughts.

Today, we spend with the family in North Georgia attending the baptism of our newest grandson Isai Jose Bautista. Tomorrow, Monday, we leave for Bradenton.

Then I will face the freight train load of real work which has lain neglected for two weeks. So, please be patient. I’ll be back.

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