Month: February 2010 Page 2 of 4

My creative son drew me a cartoon Sunday morning to tape to my study door, already covered with the likes of “Baby Blues”, “Grimm”, “Non Sequitur”, and others.

His cartoon is pretty good, so up it will go.

But the real insight was on the back. He told me that this would be the first in a series of cartoons, and so on the back he drew pictures of each character over a brief description.

Don’t ask me where he learned how to do this stuff.

There are four characters – a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter. The son is smart and ‘likes all kinds of science.’ Already sounding like a family we know.

The daughter is described as having ‘anger issues’. What 9-year old brother does NOT think his sister has anger issues?

The mom is, appropriately, described as ‘a loving mother sweet and calm’. That’s precious.

The dad? “A work loving dad (& family loving one).”

Uh-oh.

I’m glad for the parentheses, but I can’t escape what has taken top billing.

I took him to Starbucks today for some family loving time!

I’m reminded of Dan Allender’s story in his book Bold Love. Allender is writing a book about love, and so he wonders how much he’s taught his kids about love:

“I wonder how often love is truly taught and lived as the central priority of life. I asked one of my children what she thought was the most important lesson I wanted her to learn about life. She replied, ‘Work hard, do your best, and don’t lie.'”

She said nothing, he noticed, about love.

We can learn a lot when we listen to our kids. I pray for God’s grace to enable me to really, really listen.

Sometimes people show up at Somber and Dull puzzled by the strange name. Who would give a blog such a counterintuitive name?

Well, apparently I did. I understand, though, your puzzlement.

In preparation for a future move of this blog to WordPress, I adapted a previous explanation which I am reproducing below.

In short, the title is meant to be ironic. I hope you find it so!

< < < > > >

The title of this blog is intended to be ironic. but not everyone understands that. I may really be somber and dull, but I’m really not trying to be!

A couple years ago I decided one day to see what was involved in creating a blog. When it comes to things like this, I don’t read up on things. I just jump in and fiddle. At that time, I was only aware of Blogger, so I went to that site and began to create.

I quickly was faced with the fact that I had to give the blog a name.

At the time, I had been reading – re-reading, actually – Alan Paton‘s marvelous novel Cry, the Beloved Country. (Take this as an advertisement. If you are looking for a good book to read, pick this one up.)

The main character in the novel is a poor, black Anglican pastor named Stephen Kumalo (pictured here as marvelously played by James Earl Jones in the movie version of the novel). Paton introduces Kumalo as “a parson, somber and rather dull, no doubt, and his hair was turning white.”

Well, I’m a parson, and my hair is turning white. I’m not black, but the sobriquet ‘somber and dull’ was kind of appealing to me.

So, that was on my mind, and when Blogger asked for a name, in went Somber and Dull.

It has grown on me. I like the ironic tone. Either way it fits. If the blog is indeed somber and dull, the title is descriptive. If the blog is bright and interesting, then it suits the ironic intent. I can’t lose.

Enough of that. Now go get the book and read it.

Do you believe in magic? – John Sebastian

Could it be magic? – Barry Manilow (with help from F. Chopin)

It was like… magic. – Sam Baldwin (Tom Hanks)

Don’t trust the magic. – Randy Greenwald

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Leave it to me to be the buzz killer. But actually, in my weekend article for the Bradenton Herald, my intention is to add stability to the spark, not to extinguish it.

Below is the article. Here it is online, though it will be accessible for only a limited time.

* * * * *

A Few Words about ‘the Magic’

It’s Valentine’s Day weekend – a commercial reminder to those who want a relationship that they don’t have one, and an occasion for those in a relationship to enjoy some ‘magic’.

My counsel to singles: Watch The Return of the King, encourage Frodo up Mount Doom, cheer “I am no man!” Eowyn as she slays the Nazgûl. Eat some popcorn and trust the providence and wisdom of a good God.

To those in relationship, my counsel is different. Do what is appropriate to the day and your relationship status, but do NOT trust the ‘magic’.

In the Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movie Sleepless in Seattle what Annie (Ryan) is looking for and not finding in her relationship with her fiancé Walter is, we find out, ‘magic’. We are left to assume that she finds that magic with Sam (Hanks).

‘Magic’, that surge of romantic energy and emotion, is a wonderful thing. But don’t trust it.

It is possible to generate and program ‘magic’ by the right element of thoughtfulness, conversation, chivalry, and charm. And certainly a good and long term relationship will have sparks of ‘magic’ woven throughout.

But if all you see is ‘magic’, don’t trust it. Long term relationship is not about the ‘magic’. It is about commitment, devotion, and faithfulness.

Long tern love is a matter of daily wanting to have conversation with the one you love. It is a matter of forgiving one another daily. It is about refusing to go to bed angry, daily. It is about serving one another daily. It is about doing all of these things whether one feels like it or not.

Some days ‘magic’ will accompany service and forgiveness and conversation. Most days it won’t.

The movie Marley and Me is purportedly about a dog. But the real beauty of that film is the relationship portrayed by Jennifer Anniston and Owen Wilson as they grow together over time. Yes, there is ‘magic’. But there is also tension and argument and strife, as in any marriage. But there is also conversation, sacrifice, and forgiveness.

I overheard a family talking about seeing Marley and Me. A child commented that he did not think it was real. “The parents kissed too much,” he said.

Too much? I don’t think so. But that they kissed at the beginning and at the end of a long relationship was due more to the work they put into being friends than it was to magic.

Don’t trust the magic.

* * * * *

UPDATE: I surveyed a number of insightful friends for help on this article. I want to pass on my thanks to them!

A weekend poll for readers of Somber and Dull:

IF I were to get my very own domain name under which to publish this blog, what name do YOU think would be best?

* randygreenwald.com (or .net or whatever)

* randygreenwald.com (again, suffix is not critical)

* randygreenwald.com/somberanddull

I’m not feeling particularly creative here. I need some help. I’m hoping there are some possibilities I’ve not considered.

There could be pragmatic reasons for using my own name and subsuming Somber and Dull beneath it, but it also seems a bit egotistical.

And if anyone out there thinks they can turn a buck by buying one of these and then selling it back to me at a profit, well, that’s not likely.

Thanks!

This is why we so shrink back from risk.

A snippet (emphasis my own):

Creative endeavors are also always fraught with risk. Those risks may not typically be physical or life-threatening, but they certainly include failure and public embarrassment – which is, as a friend said to me recently, “a death you then have to live with.”