Month: February 2019

To Receive the Name of God

On February 22, 2019

[These are continuing reflections on the familiar (to some) benediction from Numbers 6. For other posts in this series, click here.]

❦

God gave me parents who saw to it that I was raised in a church. That church, the Loveland (Ohio) United Methodist Church, was a good collection of unpretentious people following Jesus in a small town in the 1960s, and they blessed me.

Artwork by Carol Arnold and used by permission.

When I was a teen, I attended the church’s youth group, the “MYF” – Methodist Youth Fellowship. At the end of each meeting we would all stand in a circle, hold hands, and speak the words of this blessing to one another:

“The Lord bless you and keep you….”

After that we would lift our arms over one another’s heads and, still holding hands, form a tight circle and sing together the first verse of the hymn ‘Blessed be the tie that binds.’ I know we did not think deeply if at all about what we were doing. But we were doing something right. We were sharing a blessing corporately which was the way it was meant to be shared.

Each ‘you’ in this benediction is singular, and yet, the blessing was never singular in intent. Aaron and his sons were commanded to speak it to ‘the people of Israel,’ over many people considered as one. It is now given to the gathered people of God considered as a single entity. It belongs to the church.

Through this blessing God says, “So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them.” (Numbers 6:27) When I entered into the covenant of marriage with my wife, I put my name upon her. I became a husband to her and she a wife to me. In sharing that name our unity could be seen. To speak this word over the people of God is to remind them that they, together as the church, belong to God in a devoted, committed, dependent relationship.

This does not mean that the blessing does not have individual application. It is not as if the church somehow is the object of God’s favor and not me as an individual. But it does mean that God’s heart is for his collective body. The blessing promised to me comes through my being a part of that body. To be of the church is to be in that place of blessing. To gather as teens with hands clasped was to be in the place where the name of the Lord was placed. So it was then, so it is now.

Elsewhere, this chord is played.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!…
For there the LORD has commanded the blessing,
life forevermore. (Psalm 133:1, 3)

His blessing rests upon that place where God’s people dwell as one people. There his name, his blessing, is placed.

My growth and stability through my teen years were not of my own doing. They were not a result of my careful practice of the spiritual disciplines or a result of a fortuitous set of high school friendships. It was a result of being placed in the place of blessing, among a people upon whom God put his name. So the church remains for the people of God.

Secret Handbook for Pastors (and Their Spouses)

By Randy

On February 15, 2019

In Ministry

Recently I posted a response to the pastor’s wife who wrote me to say, “I can understand why pastors and wives aren’t given a secret handbook when ordained, but I really wish we got one.”

My first post in response to this was directed to pastors. This one is takes into consideration their spouses, which in my context where only men are pastors, means their wives. I’m sure it applies in both directions.

This was written for and printed in Florida’s The Bradenton Herald, at a time when the Gulf oil spill dominated the news.

❦

A friend who speaks at conferences in all kinds of churches used to tell me that pastoring the local church was the hardest job in the world. I don’t know. Those trying to contain the Gulf oil spill might put up a good counter-argument, as might many others.

Recently he told me that he had changed his mind and elevated single motherhood to the top spot. This is a wise adjustment.

Married male pastors, however, know they can’t lay claim to second place. That ‘honor’ belongs to the often thankless role assumed by their wives.
The ‘job’ of pastor’s wife comes with no job description, no pay, and plenty of unwritten expectations from church and husband. She is to lead, teach, and be outgoing. She is to do anything and be at everything. And she is to have perfect children.

Some avoid these expectations, but there is a weight she carries that cannot be avoided.

When pastors struggle with pastoral issues, it is the wife who watches, often helplessly. When he comes home enveloped in the dark cloud of concern for the flock, she sees. Concern for confidentiality prevents his letting her in. She can do nothing.

When others aim criticism at her husband, the arrows strike her heart, too. Other wives might find comfort in the body of the church, a balm often denied the pastor’s wife, who cannot share with other women her concern for her husband.

When someone leaves a church, the pastor is often the focus of that decision. Though those leaving may maintain relationships with others in the church, the pastor is often cut off. The wife becomes collateral damage and can grow fearful of pouring her heart into the next relationship for fear of it being crushed all over again. Many minister out of a broken heart.

Her role is not all heartache. There is much joy. Even those capping oil wells get to go for a swim in exotic waters. Most pastor’s wives would not change ‘jobs’ for another. So don’t cry for her. Pray for her. Love her. Encourage her.

This may not be the hardest job in the world, or even the second. But if there is a list of unseen and under-appreciated jobs, “pastor’s wife” will certainly lurk about the top.

Secret Handbook for Pastors

By Randy

On February 8, 2019

In Ministry

The wife of a pastor wrote me recently, “I can understand why pastors and wives aren’t given a secret handbook when ordained, but I really wish we got one.”

It’s an intriguing idea: an initiatory book of secrets and rules and rituals to keep us sane in the ministry. There are a number of good resources out there, but I decided to bite and offer my own modest contribution in that direction. Here and in a subsequent post, I will reprint two articles written years ago for Florida’s The Bradenton Herald. The first, which was never published, is a ‘open letter’ to a new pastor and the second, which I’ll post here later, is a word for their spouses.

None of this is secret, but I hope it is suggestive and helpful.

❦

Dear __,

By your ordination you join in a great line of those who, like Mr. Greatheart in Pilgrim’s Progress, seek to lead pilgrims on the perilous journey to the Celestial City. God has uniquely gifted you for this calling and will use you greatly.

I am excited for you but want you to enter ministry with your eyes open. Ministry attracts idealists who can be shattered by its harsh reality. Instead of undoing you, these realities will, if you let them, enable you to see how quickly and personally Christ comes to encourage and support us all.

I trust then you’ll take the following to heart, as I must do daily.

1) You cannot fix everything.

Congregations expect their pastor to ‘fix’ them and to ‘fix’ their situations. You will be tempted to think you can. You can’t. Only Christ can. If you try, everything in your life will pay a price.

2) People will disappoint you.

Precious people will encourage you, care for you, support you, and love you. Others, just as beloved by Christ, will fall short of your best expectations and betray your most heartfelt commitments. They, too, are Christ’s gift to you. You will grow because of them to place your hope in Christ alone. The pain of the process will be real, but so is the gain.

3) You will disappoint people.

You are weak and you will fail. You will say unkind things and you will sin before those who look up to you. You will forget appointments and blame others for doing the same. You will change where people don’t want you to change and be unable to change where you should. Your grief over these things will again drive you to Jesus to experience his love even when we fail.

4) You will experience more deeply the pain of your sin.

People will call you ‘reverend’ and shush their cursing when you come into the room. They will think you holy. But in reality, you will come to see more clearly your own sin. You will begin to see it through the eyes of the sheep you have been called to shepherd. As the painfulness of this knowledge increases, you will need even more to know the refreshing grace of the gospel as a daily reality. As you preach grace to yourself, you will learn to preach it to others.

5) You will wrestle with the idol of success

You will not escape the expectations people (and you) place upon you. By whatever standard you and those you care about measure success, you will fall short. Such knowledge can destroy you. Remember, though, that Christ has already given to you every blessing you need for happiness and contentment in himself. His reward is far greater than the idol of success.

The calling of the pastor is noble but not easy. Find others in whom you can confide and work through the struggles. Most importantly, retreat frequently to the gospel of God’s grace so that it and it alone will be that which defines your ministry.

You will then do well and be of great usefulness.

Randy

A Plea for Reasonableness

By Randy

On February 1, 2019

In Christian Life, Politics

We will never know what it is like to live in a society where someone can seem to act wrongly and not have it become lifted out of context and made a matter of public knowledge and scrutiny almost immediately. As I type much is being made regarding a confrontation in D. C. between teenagers and a Native American. Many will be the theories about what did and did not happen. It is not here the facts of the event that concern me, but the response given to it.

The whole matter makes me think that it is worthwhile to post a mildly edited portion of a sermon I preached in December on Philippians 4:4-9.

❦

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. (Philippians 4:5)

❦

Something about Christians, is to be so well known to everyone that it is second nature to think of them in this way. Christians are to be known as ‘reasonable’ ones.

This does not mean ‘rational’ or ‘given to deep logical arguments.’ Rather, to be known as reasonable in this way is to be known as the one who is gentle and who shows mercy in verbal interactions. To be reasonable is to give others the benefit of the doubt. It is to not insist on our own rights or even our own rightness, but tempering our self-interest and our own causes for the sake of others. Paul is concerned with how we are known, for how WE are known will be how JESUS is known.

However, in this American moment, it is too often not our reasonableness that is known to all but our anger and our intolerance. And that should grieve us.

Paul, no stranger to controversy, instructed his protege Timothy to be reasonable. He, and we, are to be known as those who are

…kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting…opponents with gentleness. (2 Timothy 2:23-25)

Such may appear to some as a wimpy Christianity. If it is, so be it. It is this to which we are called: to patiently endure evil, and when necessary, correct it – but always with gentleness, with reasonableness.

As Christians we give up our right to win an argument with the hope of winning a person. We embrace what appears to be weakness because that is the way of the cross. We temper that zealous, argumentative streak in us with gentleness, that all might see we serve a reasonable, merciful savior.

Be zealous, yes. Be deeply committed to Jesus. As Peter reminds us,

…in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you;

But how you manage that zeal matters:

…yet do it with gentleness and respect. (2 Peter 3:15)

From whom are we taking our cues? Every time I’m tempted to call someone in idiot or worse, I wonder about that. Are we taking our cues from our movies? From our sports figures? Perhaps from our President? It is well known that in response to some issue, he is prone to attack the person and not the issue, to call someone stupid or weak, or dumb as a rock.

He will be what he is. But Christian, be what you are. You are a follower of Jesus Christ.

Our interactions must be tempered by the stunning truth that the Lord who is near is coming to take us to be with him, we who were his enemies, who were perhaps zealous against him. He has loved us and given himself for us nonetheless. He looked upon us as people worthy of kindness. How can we do less for others?

If we are to reflect him, as we must, then we must let others see him in our reasonableness. We are not to let our cleverness be known to all, or our rhetorical wizardry, but our reasonableness.

Consider therefore before you speak, before you post, before you send,

Does this build up?
Does this need to be said?
Does this communicate a proper reasonableness? Gentleness?
Am I speaking what is aimed to help others, or to simply exalt my own standing in my tribe or in my heart?

The Lord’s nearness gives us hearts that are tolerant, hearts willing to let gentleness temper our zeal, for the sake of Christ and his kingdom.

❦

Lest any think that by this I am positioning myself to throw stones, I should say that I intended this to be edited and posted long before current events hit our devices. I post it because I see the tendency of my own heart to demand my rights and argue my cases and exercise my zeal and to do so with innocent restaurant servers and unsuspecting grocery store clerks. If stones are being thrown, I am feeling their sting. May we all.