Is it possible for us in the church to show too much grace to unbelievers? If we allow people with obvious and obviously ‘bad’ sin into our lives and into our churches, are we not in some way condoning their sin and becoming accomplice to it? Is this showing too much grace, a threshold from which we should draw away?
Someone from a Roman Catholic background asked me a few weeks ago if our church believes in ‘mortal sin’, in sin of such severity that it would keep one out of heaven. I told her absolutely – that every sin is sufficient to keep us out of heaven. That is why we all need Christ. But I told her that we do NOT (or should not) keep an hierarchy of sin. Pride and greed rank right up there with adultery and theft. We all are guilty, we all are living in sin, we all need the grace of Christ.
So, as those needing grace, can we inadvertently show so much grace to a sinner that we somehow encourage him in his sin? Can we show too much grace?
Did Jesus show too much grace? He was known as a friend of sinners. I don’t believe he came to have such a reputation by being quick to condemn. Our model is one who let a prostitute’s tears fall on his feet. He allowed her to wipe them dry with her let-down hair, to the consternation of those who would have treated her otherwise.
Do we tend to be more like Jesus or more like the Pharisee in that story? Can we really show too much grace?
Why would we limit the grace we would show? Are we afraid that people will not know they are sinners if we somehow befriend them as they are? Do we imagine that it is our job to make sure they feel the condemnation of sin, and must hear it from us? Do we somehow think it is OUR responsibility to change them?
Where did we get such notions?
Too much grace? I say, let’s give it a try. Let’s see what happens when we show people too much grace. Let’s see what happens if we just love people and keep our judgmental mouths shut. Let’s see what happens.
I rather think that if grace breaks out among us, it will not be greater sin that results, but something far more wonderful.
MagistraCarminum
Question: is grace the same thing as condoning sin? We are told to give the grace that we have received, but that we are not to condone sin in our midst. There must be a way for us to do both of those things if God's word directs us to do both. I think we tend to see these as contradictory, when in reality they ought o be complimentary.
Randy Greenwald
Perhaps it would help you to divide the question and define some terms.1. How do we as church members NOT condone sin? What behaviors do we engage in which prove that we are NOT condoning sin? If gay man attends our church, hears our preaching, shares a meal with us, are we by loving him 'condoning sin' or showing him the same love that Jesus shows us? If we are to NOT condone sin, are we supposed to tell him that he is a sinner? My question is this: when did that become our job?2. Who is the 'we' in your comment? There is a role for the officers of a church to exercise discipline over the church's members, so that in that we are not condoning sin. But does this job/right/responsibility belong to individual Christians? How quick do think Jesus was to pull the trigger of sin and condemnation on all these sinners and tax collectors who loved to be with him?
Gail and Keith
I see your points. We show love and grace toward believers and non-believers. A friend who is now walking with the Lord had for some time been engaging in a lifestyle not consistent with how one who names the name of Christ should walk. Yet, during this time his church leader held him accountable. He was a member of the worship team. Had he been thrown out, one wonders where he would be today. I am so thankful for the wisdom of this pastor.At the same time, I think of the Half-Way Covenant the Puritans (now Congregational) practiced in the 1800's, allowing non-believing spouses, and family members of believing members to join the church, but not fully partake in the sacraments, i.e. communion. Over time the church became diluted and left its first love. There is a fine line to walk between the Scriptural command for grace and adherence to the commands of Scripture to purity. I suppose I'm talking two different issues here: those who are members and those who are not, but seeking. G
Randy Greenwald
Worthy reflections, Gail. And yes, there is a distinction between church membership and not. But I would add that there is a distinction to be made between the role of officers and the role of members in dealing even with a member who is evidencing public sin. And part of the problem, of course, of the 'half way' covenant, if I remember correctly, is the blurring of the distinction between church and state. To vote, you had to be a member of a church. That's a whole 'nother thing!
MagistraCarminum
My quick response:1. We as members of the body of Christ must resist condoning sin. In the example you give of a gay man coming to church, yes, we are to love him, to be hospitable, to befriend. But when he asks, "Why aren't there more gay people here?" we need to answer honestly that he is choosing to sin in that area of his life. Or, more likely, if asked what we believe concerning gay rights, we have to speak the truth in love. That is different from exercising a Pharisaical or judgmental spirit, though of course, some may do those very same things from a judgmental spirit.2. The above is what I mean by the "we" of church members. Elders must preach the truth and exercise discipline among members.Personal story: in the midst of a tough time for us several years ago, a beloved relative sent me a registered letter, telling me that she was a lesbian, and she knew that I would hate her for it. She said she didn't want any of my "bible crap", and that if I wanted to continue a dialogue with her, I would have to contact her. She broke my heart by flaunting her rebellion towards God in this way, and by putting me on the spot. After praying about it, Dave and I sent a registered letter back to her the very next day. We told her we were not interested in a dialogue with her, we were interested in a relationship with her because we loved her. We explained to her that Christ's love for us requires us to love others who are sinners just like we were. We also explained to her that she would have to be willing to accept our love without being given our blessing, because our loyalty to Christ demanded that we could not condone her choices. I figured that may end her side of the relationship. However, within a half hour of receiving that letter, we received a call from her, and she was very grateful for both our love and our honesty. And our relationship continues to this day. I don't always put my money where my mouth is, but that time I believe I did. And I think that's how we love and build relationships with people without condoning their sin by either the implicit approval of silence, or by confusing our duty to love sinners with our obligation to see sin clearly.Well, maybe that wasn't so quick after all.If I see someone heading to sin, and fail to warn them, their blood is on my head. Isn't that biblical?
Gail and Keith
I totally agree that the role of disciplining falls to the officers of the church. It's not in the Flocks job description. G
Randy Greenwald
Quick, honestly quick, response:The relationship with your friend predated and underscored your honesty. Love comes first. Then honesty. But it takes time to build the love.
MagistraCarminum
Amen.
TulipGirl
The question was written: "Is it possible for us in the church to show too much grace to unbelievers?"The first thought it provoked for me was the corollary: "Is it possible for us in the church to show too much grace to believers?Gail alluded to this with the comment, "We show love and grace toward believers and non-believers. A friend who is now walking with the Lord had for some time. . ."How often is it easier to show grace to "sinners" outside the church and harder to do so to sinners within the church.To me, it seems the only danger of "too much grace" is when we are excusing away sin in our own lives instead of (by the Holy Spirit) recognizing that it really is SIN in our lives and we are in great need of "too much grace" from God.
Randy Greenwald
TG, your comments are so insightful. Thanks.To all, I think it interesting, and my original post somewhat set it up this way, that we do as well tend to focus on setting our sights on certain behaviors we determine are sinful – sexual behaviors, in particular. If we are not to condone sin, are we to call people out on greed, idolatry, anger, anxiety, pride, covetousness, and the like? When do we become such an oppressive society that none but the neurotic want to be among us?None of us want to treat sin lightly. There is a time and a place for people to point it out in my life, and that is an act of love on their part, and I am better because of it. But generally, our conscience is sufficient to expose our sin. What we need the church for is to demonstrate gospel love to us, and to in that point us to Christ.That is what I'm grasping after here.