Concerning Life as It Is Supposed to Be

The Hills of Bradenton

It is not often that my life intersects those of famous athletes. Living for 25 years in Bradenton, Florida did up the odds of that happening, but only incidentally, in that many do make their homes in the Sarasota/Bradenton area.

So among other lines of interest, I began Andre Agassi’s memoir Open, interested in reading about his time spent at the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy in Bradenton. Bollettieri’s academy, now IMG, has received renown over the years as the training ground for tennis greats Agassi, Jim Courier, Monica Seles, and Maria Sharapova, among others. Agassi arrived in Bradenton about the same time as I, he a 14 year old tennis phenom, and me a rookie pastor.

His recollections of the place, however, are vastly different than my own. Those who know Bradenton will immediately see what I mean from this quote:

Every day at the Bollettieri Academy starts with the stench. The surrounding hills are home to several orange-processing plants, which give off a toxic smell of burned orange peels. It’s the first thing that hits me when when I open my eyes, a reminder that this is real, I’m not back in Vegas. I’m not in my deuce-court bed, dreaming. I’ve never cared much for orange juice, but after the Bollettieri Academy, I’ll never be able to look at a gallon of Minute Maid again.

I’ll give the guy some slack due to the fact that he hated tennis and doubly hated his time at Bollettieri’s, and therefore has no fond memories of Bradenton. And I’ll factor in that he was an angry teenager at the time. But at the same time I chuckle to read in the acknowledgments that the text was meticulously fact-checked. Clearly, they missed a few.

Yes, there is an occasional, not daily, smell from the single, not several, orange processing plant, Tropicana, not Minute Maid. That smell, from the process by which orange peel is turned into feed for livestock, is endearing to some of us, as it identifies the town’s heritage and heart. But to others, it is annoying, and so I can accept Agassi’s negative recollection.

But hills? Hills? Really? Hills?

I know it is a minor and silly detail, but how can one spend more than a day in Bradenton, Florida, elevation 5 feet, where the highest landmark may be an interstate overpass, and speak of hills? One has to travel an hour or two away from Bradenton to find anything remotely resembling a hill. The predominant geography of Bradenton is flatness and water.

I trust the recollections from the rest of his life are more accurate.

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14 Comments

  1. I visited you in Bradenton once. In the mid-1980s (’85 or ’86). As soon as I read the title of this entry, “The Hills of Bradenton”, my curiosity was piqued. Even with one day-trip to Bradenton more than two decades ago, I knew there were no hills!

  2. Seth

    Ummmm… Hills? Really? Either Andre was seriously messed up while in Bradenton, or his ghost writer has never been there.

  3. I laughed when I read about the hills, too. Was he meaning over-passes? They were the closest things to hills…

    I remember reading a Tom Clancy novel that was partially set in Los Alamos, and just guffawed when an important plot twist depends on the hero leaving the Lab and arriving at the mall 10 minutes later. The MALL? Really?!

    Fact checkers ought to be local…

  4. Jenny

    By the way I always loved the smell of the orange peels. They always reminded me of orange iced cookies baking in an oven. It was the big “homecoming” smell on each trip back to Bradenton from Chattanooga. You new we were close when you could smell the oranges.

  5. I should note that the quote is found on page 77 of the book. And I should also say that the book is a fun read and an interesting insight into the loneliness of the pro tennis tour. Having been sick and therefore unable to sleep, I’m nearly done with it.

  6. Eva

    They must have been emotional hills. Very, very steep ones!

  7. Kathryn

    Clearly the book was ghost written.

    • Yes, indeed. And Agassi makes no secret of that. In fact, apparently, he wanted his writer’s name on the front cover, but his writer refused. Anyway, more about that tomorrow.

  8. Adri

    Haven’t seen any hills in the 15+ years we’ve been here; have liked the smell from the oj plant.
    Wonder if he ever practiced at the courts in our development; they now have to be locked to keep out students who want to practice for tournaments; apparently IMG has not enough court space. 🙂

  9. Amy

    I LOVE the smell if the Tropicana plant! Maybe the “hills” he’s referring to are like developments or something, not Literal hills.

  10. Staci Thomas

    This is very funny. I run. And often, at 5am, I am running up and down the I-75 overpass on Linger Lodge Road so that I can purposely run hills. I will also drive to St. Armand’s Circle and run that bridge, again so that I can get some hill work in. The only hills in Bradenton/Sarasota to be found are man-made. Trust me, I’ve looked.

    I love your attention to detail, Randy. I would probably have glossed over this error.

    Staci

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